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Untitled The clouded sky intrigues me how can something be so dark yet shine so bright? so obvious yet so confusing I look to the sky as a solitary individual, but the sky gives me company fear lonesomeness image consciousness disappear the clouded sky clears my clouded mind. the breeze cools my hot head look directly up. pause. breath. think. To do List: September 9th, 2008 Calm the body Free the mind Liberate your being Imagine the abstract contained It dwindles when trapped Break Turn the righteous To the insane Briefly, before anyone notices Escape boundaries Held in a moment Revise instinct, But go with your gut See the concept blindly Know the truth without knowledge Strive for attention, but go unnoticed Gradually grow Expand, but do not waste. SPACE. A walk. My feet are moving too quickly Why rush? I’m only circling what is to be achieved the lights are blinding I wish them to flicker to act as a beacon and preserve my mood, their presence I see purposed shadowed faces with no names and think nothing of passing in my own direction My eyes droop. My legs droop. Sound droops. It resonates throughout me apparent to no one, but one. I wonder what they think The mad-man writing frantically on the bench ignoring their presence but acknowledging their existence Strange. Lonesome thought antagonizes me they follow closely, chasing me, rather, stepping on the heals of my shoe My feet must again move quickly I know running in circles will never get me anywhere, but soon I will come to see things the same differently. Consequently Undefined I am one who thinks they know what they want, but I think completely irrationally. I rearrange uncomprehendable words so they make more nonsense. I make no sense but in five minutes I’ll make you crazy. When I roll a cigarette I roll my tongue against the roof of my mouth. I can’t spell, at all. I think constantly, I write constantly, most of the time. I do the majority of my thinking in the shower. I am alone most of the time, but I still consider myself a social-lite. When I have a thought I’m excited about I don’t finish writing the ends of words. I don’t believe in God, but I believe in something. I can never concentrate on just one thing at a time. I’m always happy and depressed simultaneously. I always feel like I’m missing out on something. It is a necessity for me to see everything and never stay stagnate. I think TV is the devil, but I wouldn’t mind watching some right now. Not for it to entertain me, but to have something to look at as the time passes. I hate the media and I hate people. I’m a person, sometimes. Sometimes I hate myself. A lot of the time I ask myself “Who do I want to be” more often than not the answer is “myself” I hate time constraints. I hate putting wet clothes in the dryer. I like sitting in a spot long enough to look up and see the environment completely change. When this happens I wonder if I’ve become part of the scene, or am I the one changing. I like wasting time doing something creative. I hate how that is considered to be “wasting time” I like when girls I don’t know smile at me. I have a compulsive urge to mess with people and make them feel uncomfortable. I like my coffee like I like my women; hot and black. I think I’m funny, as you may have just seen. I enjoy going outside barefoot at 3 a.m. and playing guitar singing at the top of my lungs so perhaps she will wake up and hear me. I don’t know who she is, but hopefully she’s not pissed I woke her. I try to define myself every now and then, yet I don’t own a dictionary large enough to do so. Consequently, I am undefined. Feeling colors… and other Intangibles Is it me or the clouds? Who is moving to fast? The light kisses the tips I envy the blue that circles instead of the blue that overpowers onto me. I feel younger, but think older not in a sense of age or wisdom but more stale and not new I am full rested, but exhausted I need to travel not far away, or even to a different place I just want to feel as if I’m moving even if it is just an illusion I wish for the street lights to never come on things would be clearer that way I could follow the smoke of my cigarette and use the light of the ember to guide me Harder to find Breath escapes, but I am no longer capable The thoughts that reach my skin have cooled Only the efforts of cyclic friction remain What turns the mind reaches the same point I have changed, they have changed Regression is subsequent to tattered memories Those of happier days, easier times Days when nothing was enjoyed Consequently, it is now full of more emptiness I am homeless, but sheltered Overfilled by thought, but left more empty Inhale, exhale I’m back at the same spot, but it feels none the same. I am surrounded by the artificial Timed clicks mark my return A return as they see An arrival anew to me Loss is too simple to explain I need something more More less like it is Be it less of me to need something more Shelled, caged, static Received less by position But led more by manner A manner habitual of place, incomplacent Trudging through, on the road looking for direction I look to the sun, not west nor east it tells me nothing, at least for now it’s warm We are all just a crowd walking through each other amongst chaotic single files marching along in our heads We are all just a crowd closed off to the world sealed in fog we and soaking We are all just a crowd shrouded in anonymity unplugged and replugged frivolously wavering in and out between We are all just a crowd imagining our reality is really real Philosophy Response to Free Will Free will is the ability to assert power over one’s decisions. To be able to commit a certain action, or determine a certain choice is equivalent to having free will. However, this choice can be vastly effected. The series of causal events before the action takes place and the apparent situation could, perhaps, be the origin of all decisions made by an individual; this is considered to be determinism. In one case, it is easy to say that we have free will because we believe our decisions we make are our desired choice, totally independent of anything else. In another case, we are not exactly certain that the choice made was independent. Individually we cannot recognize the origins of our choices, for that reason the choice made could be dependent upon some unknown factor. My concern with not having free will is that it creates moral problems, which lead to other disadvantages. For example, if I kill a man, am I held responsible? If I have no free will, then I have no choice but to kill him. It would then be morally wrong to punish an individual if their actions cannot be controlled. This makes even simplest human interaction difficult. I believe that free will exists, but it is not completely free of determinism. Free will is obviously swayed by the causal chain of events. There is a reason you make the choices you do and that reason is based on past experiences and the present situation. However, I believe the decisions you make based upon the causal chain and the current situation exists independently. For example, if the room I am in is cold. The causal chain of events tells me that I must warm myself, but my free will decides on taking a hot shower or getting a blanket. If both have equivalent results of satisfaction of being warm, I then have the free will to make the decision of either. Therefore, I believe that some type or form of free will does exist, yet simultaneously is controlled to an extent by a already determined set of events. List of Thoughtful Maxims: Ambiguity provokes thought. intellectual capacity defines depth Reality is a equilibrium of Social fabrications Stubbornness is a lack of knowledge and understanding. A thought is more relevant than an expression. Everyone wants to be perfect, but hates perfection Timing is something Reflexes are all the matter in life Plans are for those who are afraid of chance. Harrison_Smith.html
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